How you know your Scottish
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
How you know your Scottish
okai this should be in the joke bit but I found it so funny I think it deserves a thread of its own...mind you I might be the only one who finds it funny
any questions just ask
IT'S A PURE DEAD GIVE-AWAY THAT YOU'RE SCOTTISH IF :-
1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine is good weather
2. The only sausage you like is square
3. You have been forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at secondary school
4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldjin, baltic...
5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan's toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc
6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team like the Faroe Islands
7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you've never met before
8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish
9. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin
10.. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas
11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - "Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." Or "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?", etc
12. You see cops and hear someone shout 'Errapolis'
13. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'
14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are catholic or protestant
15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc
16. A jakey has asked you for money
17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper
18. You know the right response to 'Ye dancing ?' is 'Y'askin ?' followed by 'Ahm askin' and finally 'Then ahm dancin'
19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school
20. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt
21. You don't do shopping .... You 'go the messages'
22. You're sitting on the train or bus and a drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Ahm no annoying ye ahm a?' and you respond 'Naw, not at a', yer fine. This is ma stoap, but'
23. You can have an entire phone conversation using only the words 'awright', 'aye' and 'naw'
24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink when out - regardless of the circumstances
25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces oot a 20 storey flat, and that seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that.
Furthermore you're sure that if it's butter, cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan
26. You know that going to a party at a friend's house involves bringing your own drink
27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland while you're away
28. Your national team goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think "Probably"
29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty
30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy
31. You're used to 4 seasons in one day
32. You can't pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when you're drunk
33. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink
34. You measure distance in minutes
35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family
36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean
37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words
38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it
39. Somebody you know used a football schedule to plan their wedding day date
40. You've been at a wedding where the footie results were read out
41. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop
42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor gas under it
43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover cure
44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals
45. And, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms - "How's it hingin'?", "clatty", "boggin",
"cludgie", "dreich", "bampot", "bawheid", "baw bag" and "dubble nugget".
any questions just ask
IT'S A PURE DEAD GIVE-AWAY THAT YOU'RE SCOTTISH IF :-
1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine is good weather
2. The only sausage you like is square
3. You have been forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at secondary school
4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldjin, baltic...
5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan's toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc
6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team like the Faroe Islands
7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you've never met before
8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish
9. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin
10.. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas
11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - "Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." Or "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?", etc
12. You see cops and hear someone shout 'Errapolis'
13. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'
14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are catholic or protestant
15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc
16. A jakey has asked you for money
17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper
18. You know the right response to 'Ye dancing ?' is 'Y'askin ?' followed by 'Ahm askin' and finally 'Then ahm dancin'
19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school
20. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt
21. You don't do shopping .... You 'go the messages'
22. You're sitting on the train or bus and a drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Ahm no annoying ye ahm a?' and you respond 'Naw, not at a', yer fine. This is ma stoap, but'
23. You can have an entire phone conversation using only the words 'awright', 'aye' and 'naw'
24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink when out - regardless of the circumstances
25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces oot a 20 storey flat, and that seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that.
Furthermore you're sure that if it's butter, cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan
26. You know that going to a party at a friend's house involves bringing your own drink
27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland while you're away
28. Your national team goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think "Probably"
29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty
30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy
31. You're used to 4 seasons in one day
32. You can't pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when you're drunk
33. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink
34. You measure distance in minutes
35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family
36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean
37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words
38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it
39. Somebody you know used a football schedule to plan their wedding day date
40. You've been at a wedding where the footie results were read out
41. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop
42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor gas under it
43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover cure
44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals
45. And, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms - "How's it hingin'?", "clatty", "boggin",
"cludgie", "dreich", "bampot", "bawheid", "baw bag" and "dubble nugget".
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
-
- Posts: 9148
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:12 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
Re: How you know your Scottish
IT'S A PURE DEAD GIVE-AWAY THAT YOU'RE SCOTTISH IF :-
1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine is good weather....self explainatory...weather isnt that good in Scotland
2. The only sausage you like is square...do you have square sausage over there or just link sausages..?
3. You have been forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at secondary school...dances like The Dashing White Sergeant, The Gay Gordon, Strip the Willow...believe me it was the bane of every child at school lol
4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldjin, baltic...you know numpty and aye already...aye right is when someone says something and you dont believe them 'aye right' is the response...auldjin is old one and baltic is cold
5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan's toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc...oor childhood sweets
6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team like the Faroe Islands....oor football is that bad that we really worry when they play a team considered worse than us lol
7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you've never met before...this really does happen...usually at bus stops
8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish....we love Scottishness abroad...oor accent becomes stronger as well
9. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin....this was a programme that contained cartoons...the Casper the Friendly Ghost was a definate favourite!
10.. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas....google them and see if you can understand them lol
11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - "Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." Or "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?", etc....Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." ..you okai pal...gonna let me have a read of your Sun newspaper? Thank you very much (Glaswegian).. "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?"...What have you been upto? Quite a lot of females in here the nigh isnt there? (north east)
12. You see cops and hear someone shout 'Errapolis'... "There's the police"
13. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'....a square go is a fight
14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are catholic or protestant...we're very sectarian over here...
15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc....and they're all great
16. A jakey has asked you for money...An alcoholic asked you for money
17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper....sadly this is so true lol
18. You know the right response to 'Ye dancing ?' is 'Y'askin ?' followed by 'Ahm askin' and finally 'Then ahm dancin'...think you can work this one out
19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school...surely your school janitors did the same lol
20. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt....if your Scottish and you dont wear a kilt at your wedding...you deserve to be shot
21. You don't do shopping .... You 'go the messages'....just what we say for going shopping
22. You're sitting on the train or bus and a drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Ahm no annoying ye ahm a?' and you respond 'Naw, not at a', yer fine. This is ma stoap, but'....we're polite to drunks but we cannae handle them so we will leave the bus miles away from where we want to get off
23. You can have an entire phone conversation using only the words 'awright', 'aye' and 'naw'.....again sadly this is true lol
24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink when out - regardless of the circumstances...birth, death, shopping, gardening etc...we will always find a way of having drink lol
25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces oot a 20 storey flat, and that seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that.
Furthermore you're sure that if it's butter, cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan...and old Scottish song
26. You know that going to a party at a friend's house involves bringing your own drink...you always have to take your ain carry oot lol
27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland while you're away...hahahahaha...again this is true...we hate to hear the weather is Scotland is good when we're no there lol
28. Your national team goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think "Probably"...we have so much confidence in the Scottish footy team lol
29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty....you need to hear me to know how they are properly pronounced...I can bet though not the way your saying them in your head
30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy...this is called a pizza crunch
31. You're used to 4 seasons in one day...has happened to me..serioulsy...sun, rain, wind and snow all in the one day...can happen often lol
32. You can't pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when you're drunk....especially the kebab shop...google chippy...hard to explain lol
33. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink...it's a talent we have
34. You measure distance in minutes...a place isnt 30 mile away...we say it's 20/25 min away
35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family...a defunctional comedy programme about a Scottish family...seemingly when it was showed in England they had to use subtitles lol
36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean...a wee shitty place by the sea
37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words...I can prove this lol
38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it...and I still think its great
39. Somebody you know used a football schedule to plan their wedding day date....yeah this really does happen
40. You've been at a wedding where the footie results were read out...been at a wedding where this had happened lol
41. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop...you must have shops over there like that...well maybe not Irn Bru but Coke...?
42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor gas under it...a caravan lol
43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover cure...so wish you could Irn Bru over there...its oor national drink
44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals...you'll understand probably very little lol
45. And, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms - "How's it hingin'?", "clatty", "boggin",
"cludgie", "dreich", "bampot", "bawheid", "baw bag" and "dubble nugget"....How's it going, dirty, dirty, toilet, wet, idiot, bigger idiot, a twat and an even bigger twat
hope that helped
1. You consider scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine is good weather....self explainatory...weather isnt that good in Scotland
2. The only sausage you like is square...do you have square sausage over there or just link sausages..?
3. You have been forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at secondary school...dances like The Dashing White Sergeant, The Gay Gordon, Strip the Willow...believe me it was the bane of every child at school lol
4. You have a wide vocabulary of Scottish words such as numpty, aye, aye right, auldjin, baltic...you know numpty and aye already...aye right is when someone says something and you dont believe them 'aye right' is the response...auldjin is old one and baltic is cold
5. You destroyed your teeth when you were young using Buchanan's toffee, Wham bars, Penny Dainties, MB Bars, Cola Cubes etc...oor childhood sweets
6. You have an enormous feeling of dread whenever Scotland play a 'numpty' team like the Faroe Islands....oor football is that bad that we really worry when they play a team considered worse than us lol
7. You happily engage in a conversation about the weather with someone you've never met before...this really does happen...usually at bus stops
8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue and Big Country, you still love it when you're in a club abroad and they play something Scottish....we love Scottishness abroad...oor accent becomes stronger as well
9. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cavalcade on a Sunday afternoon with his side kick Lamp Paladin....this was a programme that contained cartoons...the Casper the Friendly Ghost was a definate favourite!
10.. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons annuals at Xmas....google them and see if you can understand them lol
11. You can tell where another Scot is from by their accent - "Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." Or "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?", etc....Awright, pal, gonnae gies a wee swatch oa yur Sun ? Cheers, magic pal." ..you okai pal...gonna let me have a read of your Sun newspaper? Thank you very much (Glaswegian).. "Fit ya bin up tae ? Fair few quines in the nicht, eh ?"...What have you been upto? Quite a lot of females in here the nigh isnt there? (north east)
12. You see cops and hear someone shout 'Errapolis'... "There's the police"
13. You have participated in or watched people having a 'square go'....a square go is a fight
14. You know that when someone asks you what school you went to they only want to know if you are catholic or protestant...we're very sectarian over here...
15. You have eaten lots and lots of random Scottish food like mince 'n tatties, Tunnock's Caramel Logs, oat cakes, haggis, Cullen skink, Lees Macaroon Bars, etc....and they're all great
16. A jakey has asked you for money...An alcoholic asked you for money
17. You think nothing of waiting expectantly for your 1p change from a shop keeper....sadly this is so true lol
18. You know the right response to 'Ye dancing ?' is 'Y'askin ?' followed by 'Ahm askin' and finally 'Then ahm dancin'...think you can work this one out
19. Whenever you see sawdust it reminds you of pools of vomit as that's what the jannies used to chuck on it at school...surely your school janitors did the same lol
20. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt....if your Scottish and you dont wear a kilt at your wedding...you deserve to be shot
21. You don't do shopping .... You 'go the messages'....just what we say for going shopping
22. You're sitting on the train or bus and a drunk man sits next to you telling you a joke - and asking 'Ahm no annoying ye ahm a?' and you respond 'Naw, not at a', yer fine. This is ma stoap, but'....we're polite to drunks but we cannae handle them so we will leave the bus miles away from where we want to get off
23. You can have an entire phone conversation using only the words 'awright', 'aye' and 'naw'.....again sadly this is true lol
24. You have experienced peer pressure to have an alcoholic drink when out - regardless of the circumstances...birth, death, shopping, gardening etc...we will always find a way of having drink lol
25. You know that ye cannae fling yer pieces oot a 20 storey flat, and that seven hundred hungry weans'll testify tae that.
Furthermore you're sure that if it's butter, cheese or jeely, or if the breid is plain or pan, the odds against it reaching earth are 99 tae wan...and old Scottish song
26. You know that going to a party at a friend's house involves bringing your own drink...you always have to take your ain carry oot lol
27. Your holiday abroad is ruined if you hear there is a heatwave in Scotland while you're away...hahahahaha...again this is true...we hate to hear the weather is Scotland is good when we're no there lol
28. Your national team goes 2-0 up again the Czechs in a qualifier in Prague and your mate says we'll end up losing 3-2 here and you think "Probably"...we have so much confidence in the Scottish footy team lol
29. You can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Auchtermuchty....you need to hear me to know how they are properly pronounced...I can bet though not the way your saying them in your head
30. Your favourite pizza is deep fried and battered from the chippy...this is called a pizza crunch
31. You're used to 4 seasons in one day...has happened to me..serioulsy...sun, rain, wind and snow all in the one day...can happen often lol
32. You can't pass a chip shop or kebab shop, without drooling, when you're drunk....especially the kebab shop...google chippy...hard to explain lol
33. You can fall about drunk without spilling your drink...it's a talent we have
34. You measure distance in minutes...a place isnt 30 mile away...we say it's 20/25 min away
35. You can understand Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like them in your own family...a defunctional comedy programme about a Scottish family...seemingly when it was showed in England they had to use subtitles lol
36. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's like being at the ocean...a wee shitty place by the sea
37. You can make a whole sentence out of just swear words...I can prove this lol
38. You know what haggis is made with and still eat it...and I still think its great
39. Somebody you know used a football schedule to plan their wedding day date....yeah this really does happen
40. You've been at a wedding where the footie results were read out...been at a wedding where this had happened lol
41. You aren't surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, Irn Bru, nappies and fags all for sale in one shop...you must have shops over there like that...well maybe not Irn Bru but Coke...?
42. Your seaside holiday home has Calor gas under it...a caravan lol
43. You know that Irn Bru is an infallible hangover cure...so wish you could Irn Bru over there...its oor national drink
44. You understand all the above and are going to send it to your pals...you'll understand probably very little lol
45. And, finally, you are 100 per cent Scottish if you have ever used these terms - "How's it hingin'?", "clatty", "boggin",
"cludgie", "dreich", "bampot", "bawheid", "baw bag" and "dubble nugget"....How's it going, dirty, dirty, toilet, wet, idiot, bigger idiot, a twat and an even bigger twat
hope that helped
- Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
-
- Posts: 9148
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:12 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada
-
- Posts: 9148
- Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2003 10:12 pm
- Location: Ontario, Canada