If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why does an alarm clock 'go off' when it begins ringing?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Do cows have calf muscles?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?
On the periodic table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren't even in the word?
Where does the white go when the snow melts?
How can you hear yourself think?
How can someone 'draw a blank'?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Why did Superman wear his underpants on the outside of his tights?
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?
If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would u be walking faster than the speed of sound?
What does OK actually mean?
If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?
If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone can't hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?
Do cows drink milk?
If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st ? January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?
If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
What would happen if everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
Why is it you're 'in' a film, but you're 'on TV'?
Do ducks sneeze?
What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?
Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
Why are there dents in a golf ball?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Can bald men get lice?
What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
Why is it that when babies are born they only weigh like 7lbs yet the mum weighs 30lbs more?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Can someone give up lent for lent?
What did cured ham actually have?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Can you write in pencil on an eraser?
Can crop circles be square?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
Do stairs go up or down?
Can you make a candle out of earwax?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
If heat rises then shouldn?t hell be cold?
Why can?t you get a tan on your palms?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
Things to make you go Hmm
Moderator: Priests of Syrinx
-
Slaine mac Roth
- Posts: 1295
- Joined: Wed Mar 31, 2004 2:09 pm
- Location: Mansfield, (UK)
Things to make you go Hmm
'Do not despise the snake for having no horns, for who is to say it will not become a dragon?'
-
Walkinghairball
- Posts: 25037
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:42 pm
- Location: In a rock an roll venue near you....as long as you are in the Pacific Northwest.
In one way or another, I have wondered about these before.
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Do cows have calf muscles?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why are boxing rings square?
How can someone 'draw a blank'?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Why did Superman wear his underpants on the outside of his tights?
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
Why are there dents in a golf ball?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Can bald men get lice?
What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Can crop circles be square?
Do stairs go up or down?
Can you make a candle out of earwax?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
If you take a shower, where do you put it?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Do cows have calf muscles?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why are boxing rings square?
How can someone 'draw a blank'?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Why did Superman wear his underpants on the outside of his tights?
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?
Why are there dents in a golf ball?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Can bald men get lice?
What would happen if you were to feed a pig some bacon?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Can crop circles be square?
Do stairs go up or down?
Can you make a candle out of earwax?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
This space for rent
REDNECK CHALLENGE
I am sick and tired of hearing about how "dumb" people are in the South.
Therefore, I challenge any so-called "Smart Yankee" to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound oppossum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your Uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweisers will be drank before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine.
When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a West Virginia home and 3.7 acres of land, in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children.
Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land - and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail.
Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Location. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift.
How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town - which has been bypassed by the Interstate - to breed a Country-Western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well.
Just goes to show ya... There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE," here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
I am sick and tired of hearing about how "dumb" people are in the South.
Therefore, I challenge any so-called "Smart Yankee" to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound oppossum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your Uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweisers will be drank before the trees are cut down?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine.
When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
7. A man owns a West Virginia home and 3.7 acres of land, in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children.
Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land - and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail.
Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Location. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift.
How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town - which has been bypassed by the Interstate - to breed a Country-Western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well.
Just goes to show ya... There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE," here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
Don't start none...won't be none.
OMG! That is hysterical!CygnusX1 wrote:At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town - which has been bypassed by the Interstate - to breed a Country-Western singer?
I don't have faith in faith, I don't believe in belief, You can call me faithless, I still cling to hope, And I believe in love, And that's faith enough for me... Neil Peart
Ya know, I live out here in the land of loggers (extreme west of Washington state). When I first started taking this test, I thought it was serious. That is common talk around here. Everyone here knows;
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound oppossum.
3 INCHES, BUT THAT VARIES PENDIN ON THE WIND.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO
THE CHEVELLE. THEY DIDN'T HOLD THEIR BONDO VERY GOOD. BAD BODY LINES.
3. If your Uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
THIS CAN BE DONE WITH ONLY 2, IF YOU ARE RUNNING A SLOW SIMMERING FIRE. OTHERWISE, IT IS RECOMMEMDED THAT ATLEAST 5 ARE USED IF IN A HURRY.
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweisers will be drank before the trees are cut down?
DEPENDS ON WHETHER THE LOCAL BEER TRUCK DRIVER, COUSIN JED, IS HELPING. NORMALLY YOU WOULD ATLEAST GED ENOUGH FER A GOOD WIND CHIME.
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
IS THIS A FART QUESTION?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine.
When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
DEPENDS ON WHETHER ITS RAINING. BESIDES, WE GOT PLENTY SO IT REALLY DUDDN MATTER.
7. A man owns a West Virginia home and 3.7 acres of land, in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children.
Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land - and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
DUH!!! EVERBODY KNOWS YA'LL CAN STACK EM. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR A TURN AROUND DRIVEWAY. REMEMBER TO LEAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR THE BUNKBEDS, THEY MAKE GREAT TURNAROUND CENTER PIECES.
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail.
Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
MUFFLER? NOBODY AROUND HERE BETTER BE TRYING TO BE SNEAKIN UP ON US.
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Location. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift.
How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
PENDS ON WHETHER THEY ARE HELD FER OVERTIME AND IF THEYZ ALREADY RUN OUT OF COPE.
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town - which has been bypassed by the Interstate - to breed a Country-Western singer?
I THOUGHT EVERY FAMILY HAD LEAST ONE OF THOSE . . .
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well.
Just goes to show ya... There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE," here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them. [/quote]
WORKS GOOD FER A RIDE ON A FIRST DATE TOO!
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound oppossum.
3 INCHES, BUT THAT VARIES PENDIN ON THE WIND.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO
THE CHEVELLE. THEY DIDN'T HOLD THEIR BONDO VERY GOOD. BAD BODY LINES.
3. If your Uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
THIS CAN BE DONE WITH ONLY 2, IF YOU ARE RUNNING A SLOW SIMMERING FIRE. OTHERWISE, IT IS RECOMMEMDED THAT ATLEAST 5 ARE USED IF IN A HURRY.
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches.
How many Budweisers will be drank before the trees are cut down?
DEPENDS ON WHETHER THE LOCAL BEER TRUCK DRIVER, COUSIN JED, IS HELPING. NORMALLY YOU WOULD ATLEAST GED ENOUGH FER A GOOD WIND CHIME.
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?
IS THIS A FART QUESTION?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine.
When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?
DEPENDS ON WHETHER ITS RAINING. BESIDES, WE GOT PLENTY SO IT REALLY DUDDN MATTER.
7. A man owns a West Virginia home and 3.7 acres of land, in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children.
Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land - and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
DUH!!! EVERBODY KNOWS YA'LL CAN STACK EM. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR A TURN AROUND DRIVEWAY. REMEMBER TO LEAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR THE BUNKBEDS, THEY MAKE GREAT TURNAROUND CENTER PIECES.
8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail.
Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
MUFFLER? NOBODY AROUND HERE BETTER BE TRYING TO BE SNEAKIN UP ON US.
9. A coal mine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Location. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift.
How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?
PENDS ON WHETHER THEY ARE HELD FER OVERTIME AND IF THEYZ ALREADY RUN OUT OF COPE.
10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town - which has been bypassed by the Interstate - to breed a Country-Western singer?
I THOUGHT EVERY FAMILY HAD LEAST ONE OF THOSE . . .
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well.
Just goes to show ya... There's a hole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.
As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE," here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them. [/quote]
WORKS GOOD FER A RIDE ON A FIRST DATE TOO!
This is really freaky...
The first plane, which cradshed into the World Trade Center on September 11, had the number Q33 NY.
Now for the spooky part.
First copy and paste Q33 NY into wordpad or Word, then change the font to be bigger, around 20-30, then change font to wingdings.
Freaky much?
The first plane, which cradshed into the World Trade Center on September 11, had the number Q33 NY.
Now for the spooky part.
First copy and paste Q33 NY into wordpad or Word, then change the font to be bigger, around 20-30, then change font to wingdings.
Freaky much?
A friend will bail you out of jail.
A BEST friend will be sitting next to you saying "Man, that was AWESOME!"
A BEST friend will be sitting next to you saying "Man, that was AWESOME!"
-
rushfanfla
- Posts: 104
- Joined: Wed Jul 07, 2004 10:26 pm
- Location: New Jersey - right next to PV
OK Mini, that's just a little too freaky for me!Mini wrote:This is really freaky...
The first plane, which cradshed into the World Trade Center on September 11, had the number Q33 NY.
Now for the spooky part.
First copy and paste Q33 NY into wordpad or Word, then change the font to be bigger, around 20-30, then change font to wingdings.
Freaky much?
Mike